Hi Anon.

There probably isn’t a single person in this world who hasn’t at one point in their lives struggled with shyness. 

I was thinking of the things I could write here, but then I googled “how to overcome shyness” and found this wonderful article. 

I think the key points to remember here is to be comfortable with yourself.  Even though everyone is different, fundamentally we’re all the same, we’re all human.

eighteradvice:

again….

love Eighter Advice

When you go through life, you have to make mistakes, that’s the only way you can grow as a person.  I wish mistakes didn’t suck as bad as they do.  I’ve made a ton of mistakes in my life.  I continue making mistakes.

If you really want to hear me rant about myself then here we go:

18 year old me,

Stay in college.  Seriously though, directing music videos is a long stretch, get into the medical field, there are always jobs in the medical field.  No, no, no, that boy is bad news, listen to your family and stay away from him.  Love your mom a little more, she isn’t the hateful bitch you think she is.  Student loans will never go away.  People are weird, just like you, there’s no need to think you’re a freak.  Stop being so shy, you’ll never get anywhere like that.  Take care of your car.  Learn a different language.  Save money.  Learn to dance.  Don’t feel like you’re undeserving of the kindness of strangers.  Start jogging, it’s a good habit to have.  Your best friends won’t be your best friends in 10 years, but don’t worry, you’ll make new ones.  It gets worse before it gets better, but it will get better.

These are all I can really think about right now.  I’m not saying I’m wise by no means, but life has not been too kind to me in the past decade or so and I’m learning a lot from it.  

(I hope everyone can read this all right)

First of all, I want to hug you anon.  Reading this made me tear up (but don’t feel bad about  making me cry, I can be pretty emotional at times).  Three years ago I lost my father (12 years ago I lost my mother) so I know what you are going through and I wish I could just give you a great big hug.

I think what you are feeling right now is completely normal.  Everyone gets down in the dumps from time to time, and it seems here recently life has dropped a load on you.  Being young (though I don’t know how young you are) it can be overwhelming.  It can be overwhelming at any age when you lose a parent.  The grieving process is a very long process, especially with something as great as that, especially since you said you pretty much only have your mother left.  If you say 80% of the time you are happy then I would say you are doing a great job and you don’t seem like a “misery-pants” at all, you’ve just got exactly what you say, a “3am issue.”

Everything will be all right, you just have to have faith, and I don’t necessarily mean spiritual faith, you just have to believe things will get better.  This sounds extremely cheesy, but it will get better.  You will not be dealt out anything you can’t handle.

Whenever you get into a 3am funk, find someone to talk to about it (even on tumblr there are some very sweet Eighters who will listen and talk with you).  Sometimes just getting your feelings off your chest is good enough.  Maybe you felt better after you sent in those asks?  (I hope)  You can always come talk to me, I like to lend a listening ear. 

And then watch some Kanpani.  :D

Unfortunately even in an awesome place such as tumblr, there still are cliques, just like you find in high school.  Everyone has their own circle of tumblr friends. 

You want people to notice you?  You have to put yourself out there.  It’s like life.  If you want something, you have to make it happen.  You want to make it big you have to learn how to network yourself.  tumblr is the same way.  I’m rather new in the fandom, but I’ve made a lot of new Eighter friends because I put myself out there and was really straightforward about it.  Basically “I’m here and you guys are going to deal with it.”    

Sometimes it’s all in the way we reblog posts.  Countless times I’ve come up with a witty remark to a picture, but my comment goes unnoticed because others start reblogging it from other sources and my hilarity gets lost in the shuffle.  It happens all the time to everyone.  Or everyone is asleep at the time.  It’s difficult to keep up with everyone since we all live in different corners of the globe.

If you want attention from someone, just send them an ask and strike up a conversation, don’t be shy.  I haven’t come across anyone in this fandom who bites (even the most difficult trolls fans can be amicable if you just chat with them one on one).  Talk to them, become buddies and there you go.  Instant friendship.

I’m not allowed to diagnose, obviously I do not have a Ph.D. in psychology, but are you using Kanjani8 to self sooth because perhaps you are depressed or over stressed because of school, work or financial situations?  It is clear that this is an addiction, and not just a habit, since it is having such a negative impact on your day to day life.

Again, I’m no professional at all, but it sounds like an addictive personality (if this addiction is affecting your life as bad as you say it is).  I have an addictive personality, alcoholism and substance abuse runs in my family.  However my poison is the same as yours, Kanjani8.  I use them to self sooth and escape the stresses of every day life.  I feel you fellow Eighter.

If you truly believe you are addicted it will be very difficult to limit yourself to being just a “normal fan.”  You’re going to have to force yourself not to buy those goods.  Spend the money you have on food and bills before you have the chance to spend it on K8 stuff.  Or, budget yourself each month and set aside a little extra money each month that will add up so you can buy stuff (we can kind of predict a cd a year, plus a few singles and a dvd, and of course with a new cd comes concerts so there will be con goods).  You’re going to have to say to yourself “after I finish my studies, I will listen to Kanjani8.”  If you truly want to change, it’s not going to be easy.  You’re going to have to be strong willed and determined.  Admitting you are addicted is the first step to the road to recovery (holy mackerel I sound like an AA counselor).

However, if it keeps getting worse and even though you know you’re addicted and you still can’t stop, you might need to take a break and get control of your life for a while, then start incorporating Eito back into your life in small bits.  If you get addicted again, you might have to quit cold turkey, which would suck and I would hate to see that but it might be what you would have to do to regain a normal life.  There’s a chance you could become addicted to something else, which a person could become addicted to anything, like shopping or tanning or eating, the same way someone becomes addicted to drugs and alcohol.  So be on the lookout for that if you do choose to quit this Kanjani8 addiction all together.

Again, I’m no doctor, I’m just full of assumptions and “OMG that sounds like me!” moments.

It would be really great if everyone keeps me updated on their situations!  I’m a worry wart.  <3